Is this heaven? No. It's Iowa.

I swear, every girl I met in Des Moines today was named Nikki.

And two dudes, too.

It was weird, yo.

So I'm currently on the bus with the Matches, while most of them are gussying up for a night out and about. If you've seen Shawn or Jon walking around everyday in their swank, '40s-style suits with rose-adorned fedoras, you know they've got the gussying thing down to a science.

When we rolled up to People's Court in Des Moines, there were some nervous glances around the bus over outstanding warrants. Those were all from me, as the Matches are all upstanding and attractive young men. This was our first show in a while that hadn't been sold out before we got there, but it didn't stay that way for long. I bent to tie my shoe on an empty sidewalk outside the venue and when I got up, there was a line wrapped around the corner filled with hundreds of kids, almost all texting someone about things I'm confident I'll never fully understand. 

People's Court, however, was a rad venue -- my favorite so far -- for the fact that it has an awesome private shower in the basement. That's all it takes for me to love a place these days: A shower and maybe a machine that sells cheddar Combos. 

Regardless, it became obvious that this would not be any less packed than the previous shows and I was offered everything from cash to babysitting services in exchange for admittance. As tempting as it was for me to conceive a child just so I could let Nikki watch it one day, I don't have that kinda pull. I'm just an editor, man. I make magic with adverbs. Rampantly.

We had a signing with the Rocket Summer, which gave me my first chance to actually kinda catch up with Bryce. That dude is so unbelievably sweet that one has to fight the urge just to kick him in the ear just to see how he'll react. I'm pretty sure he'd be buckling over in agony, still smiling, saying, "Woah! Nice extension, man! Do you stretch? You're very limber. You know? Like more limber than a normal person. Man! Wow. You really got my ear, man! That's...ow! Seriously, I'm impressed! I think I'm gonna maybe hit up a hospital real quick, but I'll definitely catch you later, bro!"  Bryce is going to be the godfather of the child that I let Nikki babysit. Is this heaven? No. It's Iowa. 

Sonny couldn't make it and that sucked. He'll be bummed if he reads this, but I had to disappoint at least 50 kids with the news when they asked me. But he's tiny and adorable, so nobody can stay mad.

Alex "My Wang's on YouTube" Gaskarth joined the Matches onstage for a song and Bryce was crazy awesome tonight during the Rocket Summer set. SPOILER ALERT: If you're coming to an upcoming show, just wait for the song he plays when everyone else walks off stage... Also, Bruce Willis was dead the whole time.

All Time Low closed the festivities in typical sophomorically brilliant fashion (did you catch that adverb back there?), but for the first time that I've seen, played "Remembering Sunday" as their encore, starting and ending with just Alex. It was actually my favorite performance by them so far. 

And here we are. Back at the bus. See how we just did this big chronological loop thing, kind of like in Fight Club? I gotta go play the Pixies' "Where Is My Mind?" on Jon's acoustic real quick.

AP Tim